Little Big Brother fan

My childhood BFF’s mum recently put some primary school photos up on Facebook. There were some great shots of my Doc Martin and denim overall loving days, but it was the pictures from our year 6 Book Week Dress-Up Day that interested me most.

Other kids in my class dressed up as characters from James Bond, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and Snow White.. but not young Niki, no, I wrote my own book. A book about Big Brother, Series 1.

It was truly inspired work by my 10-year-old self. I remember staying up the night before writing detailed profiles on each housemate and appropriately illustrating the corresponding pages. Blair, Sara Marie, Andy, Jemma, Ben, Johnny, Christina, Peter, Anita, Lisa, Rachel, Gordon, Sharna and Todd were all featured. I wish I still had the book. No doubt it’d be a best seller.

And check out the costume….!

Note the Sara Marie bunny ears (which I must admit were on regular rotation in my going-out-in-public wardrobe in those days) and pajama pants, ‘Christina the Ballerina’ tiara, ‘Sharna the flight attendant’ name tag, ‘Jemma the beautician’ make-up case and Gretal Killeen Clipboard.

I guess the signs I’d become a pop culture obsessed, media-loving monster were all there early on. haha

We need to talk about Embarrasing Bodies..

I don’t know what scares me more… the various ailments, or Christian’s creepy facial expressions. The patients on this show must be paid, right? RIGHT?!

bucketlist

Sorry for the posting hiatus; I’ve been busy graduation and getting a new job ‘n’ shiz. PEW! PEW!

I read an article on The Guardian website yesterday; “Top five regrets of the dying“ based on the recordings of Australian palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware. She asked a number of her patients in the final years of their life what they regretted most. Number one was this;

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

What a brilliantly simple thought. Who are these people telling us what we need to? Who is in charge of deciding what’s expected?

Life can be full of compromises and tough decisions. But you should never lose track of what’s ultimately important to you. You should never let convenience override who you are and who you want to be.

Sure, eventually I want a husband, kids, a nice house, a dog, a good job. But they’re all pretty standard wish-list items. Today I decided to commit to doing the things I’ve always thought would be awesome. I’m going to trek to the Everest Base Camp in Nepal, walk through the markets in Morocco, and watch the Northern Lights from a glass roofed igloo in Finland. I’m going to live in Paris, go down the shark aquarium water-slide in Las Vegas, and style and furnish an entire house from start to finish. I’m going to go to a taping of the Late Show, ride a horse through Central Park, and attend an AFL grand final. I want to get to the end of my life and be happy I attempted, saw and experienced everything I wanted to and didn’t let trivial things like money, expectations or fear get in the way. I also want to go back in time and see who shot JFK but I think I’ll have to just let that one go.

What’s on your list right now, dear reader?

p.s. the other four top regrets are;

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

When I’m old, I’m going to say exactly the same things, but they won’t be regrets. Instead of “I wish I had/hadn’t” they’ll be “I’m glad I…”

</end-inspirational-rant>

God I’m going to miss this woman

Oh KAK. I love you. haha

The Bold and the Frozen Beautiful

I caught an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful last week. (note: not ‘caught’ as in ‘I rushed home and just got there in time’, but ‘caught’ as in the way you’d catch the flu, unintentionally. Just needed to clarify that.)

It was just as I had remembered it when Nanna used to make me watch it in ye olde days. Riveting stuff – this chick, Hope, (PERFECT daytime soap name. 10 points!) chucked a huff during a domestic and took off her engagement ring in a moment of symbolic symbolism only to return the next day to find her fiancé, Liam, had given her ring, and hence become engaged, to Hope’s mother’s stepdaughter Steffy. (Who incidentally is also Hope’s stepdad’s daughter. WHAT! OH EM GEE! CHRISTMAS IS GOING TO BE SO AWKWARD!)

"WHAT?"

"That's right, bitch!"

Liam and Steffy then flew away on a private jet to Aspen to bask in their romantically aloof decision. Hope changed her mind about breaking up with Liam and the CHASE TO GET HIM BACK WAS ON!

Anyway, that was enough excitement for me for a while, until today… I flick over and it’s still the same day! Poor Hope has been stuck in a running sequence for over a week… !

No wonder everyone on this show looks like the spokesperson for Plastic Surgery Incorporated, the writers won’t let them age!

"HEEELLLLPPP US!!"

“My secret beauty steal” aka “My well-publicised beauty contract”

This article was proudly brought to you by Tahyna Tozzi for Australis… Rihanna for Covergirl…. and Megan Gale for L’Oreal…

In next month’s Cleo read all about Kate Moss’s under-the-wraps obsession for Rimmel London and Jared’s secret love of Subway

Turn it up.

The following is one of my favourite, typical Mum and Dad moments. I remembered it today while watching a movie and couldn’t believe I hadn’t documented it on here before now.

Let me set the scene.. I’m at Mum and Dad’s house. Dad and I are in the lounge-room watching TV, and Mum is cooking in the kitchen.

The phone rings and Mum answers it using her characteristically loud ‘I’m on the phone’ voice.

I look at Dad, and he looks at me. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

As Mum’s boisterous conversation continues she gets louder and begins walking around, loitering near the lounge-room.

At this point Dad huffs, picks up the remote and, with a determined sense of purpose, proceeds to turn the volume up.

I then turn to Dad, smile, and point out we are watching a subtitled movie… We don’t need to hear it.

“Oh.. You’re right…”

Eruption of laughter.

Fin.

Grumpy guide to… Food

I am intolerant to people who are intolerant.

They come over and they’re like, “has that got air in it?”

“yes… it’s a sponge cake”

“has that air passed over any cashew nuts in the past millennium”

“not sure”

“do you have any antihistamines just in case?”

“get out”

If you haven’t watched the “Grumpy Guide to…” and/or “Grumpy Old Men/Women” series, you should. Essentially, it’s just a group of english comedians and commentators sitting in their lounge-rooms sarcastically complaining about stuff. It’s great.

I want my hat back.

LOOK AT HIS FACE!!!!! hahahahah

That was great.

(source)

Shower Bikram

It occurred to me this morning shaving your legs while standing up in the shower is exactly like Bikram yoga…

It’s hot, steamy, and you’ve gotta make sure you get riiiight down to your ankles…

….don’t miss the back of the calves..

..and the final check to make sure you got them all…

Aaaand all done!

P.s I have to show you these images I found while google image searching……. check out her face below. “Yes, Hello Rachel, welcome. Now, we’re shooting for a towel company today, so I’d like you to look as pensive as possible” hahaha